Moonshine:
If I have not previously welcomed you to the Forum I do so now.
Recognizing that felt-recoil, as you note, is highly subjective, I see no reason why you should find the R9's recoil to be anything other than the above-mentioned "snappy." A firm grip is naturally required (no "limp wristing") for a 13-ounce semi-automatic 9mm pistol to function as it should. That being said, I have experienced no need to readjust my grip on the R9 during a string of fire, even with grips mounted that have no checkering.
Now that you have been "bitten by the R9 bug," you need to treat yourself to what I consider to be the finest pocket pistol yet designed.
Again, welcome to the Forum.