The Rohrbaugh Forum

Miscellaneous => The Water Cooler -- General Discussions => Topic started by: Michigunner on August 23, 2006, 10:40:48 AM

Title: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Michigunner on August 23, 2006, 10:40:48 AM: I miss Skyhook. I wish he would come back and tell some scary airplane stories.

He had one of those little home-built planes that was stressed for aerobatics. I bet he could come up with something real good!

I was down at the Fort Wayne airport to see my son-in-law off to a business conference.

One of the fighters, maybe from the Indiana Air Guard, slowly started his uneventful take-off roll, and then quickly raced down the runway making the loudest sound you ever heard.

After a long time, he made a dramatic move and pulled up slightly off the runway, raised the landing gear, and continued faster and faster, a world-class attention getter. When he came by us, our mouths were wide open. Everybody!

Finally, at the last moment, he pulled into vertical flight over the airport, up and up, until barely visible. Then he rolled over and departed in the direction of his origin.

It was a memory of a lifetime. Maybe he's the type of guy who tries to fly under the bridge. I don't know.

I wish you could have seen it, too.

Bill
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Richard S on August 23, 2006, 11:51:03 AM: Bill:

Until Skyhook checks in, here's a video of the Joint Strike Fighter.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4742849525846050256&q=F-22
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: sslater on August 23, 2006, 03:21:07 PM: Richard S.,
Neat site. I don't know how they can call the Joint Strike Fighter a "fighter". Did you notice there is virtually NO rear visibility? Then take a look at the F22 and see how the pilot sits up high in the canopy with full 360 degree vision like the F-16.
The JSF has great maneuverability, but how can you evade what you can't see? Maybe it has some sort of wide angle TV setup with a HUD or panel display, but that can't be as good as a pilot's peripheral vision and turn of the head.
Some years ago I had a video clip of the Soviet Flanker doing aerobatics. The Flanker had advanced (for the time) vectored thrust that made its agility incredible to watch.

Steve
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Richard S on August 23, 2006, 04:13:11 PM: Here you go, Steve:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7475538254258696066&q=F-22

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1994695142386399860&q=Russian+fighter+aircraft

(I should be working on a brief, but I've got a case of summertime laziness today. :D )
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Michigunner on August 23, 2006, 04:32:52 PM: Sadly, this guy was no chicken when it came to tight turns onto final approach.

Please scroll down to "B-52 Crash Documentary" and watch what happens to wild people, and the innocent souls who are on board.

http://www.alexisparkinn.com/aviation_videos.htm
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: twostar on September 04, 2006, 10:12:42 PM: A 747 belonging to an unnamed American carrier lifted off from London Heathrow and as the crew was cleaning up the gear and flaps they popped an engine. They can't land with a takeoff load of fuel aboard so the captain immediately began dumping fuel. Heathrow departure immediately called and told them they were in a "no fuel dumping" area and headed directly for Windsor Castle.

The captain keyed his mike and said, "Son, do you have a phone?" The controller said he did and the captain drawled, "Well you call the lady and ask her if she wants a litte fuel or the whole damn plane."

Of course I have no personal knowledge of this incident.
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Richard S on September 05, 2006, 10:31:38 AM: Once in the 1980s I was on a British Airways 747 out of Heathrow to Dulles. We took off in the rain and were still climbing to cruise altitude when suddenly there was a loud "CRACK," the cabin lit up like a flourescent bulb, and you could literally feel your hair move with static electricity.

After a few moments, a calm and very British voice came over the intercom with this message:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking.

"You probably noticed a few moments ago that the aircraft was struck by lightning. For some of you, this may have been the first time to have experienced such an event. I must admit that it was for me as well.

"Be that as it may, we have now run through a check of the aircraft and found all of the bits and pieces to be intact and functioning as designed. We are therefore continuing on to our destination at Dulles International. Please settle back and enjoy your flight. The cabin staff will soon be passing among you to offer complimentary beverages of your choice. I understand that the brandy we have on board today is quite respectable."

The British . . . ya' gotta love 'em!
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Michigunner on September 05, 2006, 11:55:18 AM: Gentlemen, The stories are very fine, indeed.

You have to wonder if twostar was the 747 pilot. I say he was. :)

Bill
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Richard S on September 05, 2006, 01:26:15 PM: In 1993, in the airport of one of the larger cities of a certain country of West Africa, I was passing some time in the bar of the departure lounge while waiting for my flight to a certain city in the northern part of the country to be called. (The regional airline shall also remain nameless.) I was on my second beer when two gentlemen dressed in pilot uniforms, one with four stripes on his sleeve and the other with three, asked if they could join me at my table since all other seats in the bar were taken. I agreed and, assuming that they had just come off duty from a flight, offered to buy them a round of drinks. They readily accepted. A little later they accepted my offer of yet a second round. Our conversation was just some "small talk" -- things such as current monetary exchange rates, hotels and restaurants to be recommended, and hotels and restaurants to be avoided. When they had finished their second round of drinks they stood up, thanked me for my kindness, and left the bar.

My flight was called about fifteen minutes later. I picked up my carry-on bag, strolled out of the departure lounge and across the tarmac, and climed the mobile stairs into an aging BAC 1-11 which was to take me to my destination. The cockpit door was open and -- you guessed it -- there were my two recent drinking buddies, the pilot and his first officer, going through the pre-flight procedures. :o

(Let's just say that I ordered up and threw back two of those little miniature bottles of scotch as soon as I had reached my seat.)
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: theirishguard on September 05, 2006, 04:08:36 PM: What else could you do, Richard? :o
Tom
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: twostar on September 05, 2006, 07:37:03 PM: Thanks for accusing me of being that glib but no, I flew much smaller and faster military equipment. The best one I heard was a civilian controller being asked by a pilot only identifying himself as Air Force 214 if he could have "Flight Level 650" (or 65,000 feet, above where normal aircraft can reach.) The controller replied, "Buddy, if you can get to flight level 650 it's all yours!" The pilot keyed his mike and said "Roger, decending to 650." He was flying the SR71 Blackbird and wanted to come down, not go up. (It's hilarious to a pilot.)
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Michigunner on September 05, 2006, 08:11:38 PM: Bravo! That's a wonderful story, perfectly told.

Bill
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Richard S on September 05, 2006, 10:44:47 PM: The year was 1977, just before the Iranian Revolution. I was required to get to Tehran on the first available flight. Connecting in Rome, I managed to get the last available seat on an Iran Air flight. It was a coach-class seat on the rear bulkhead, the middle of three on port side of the aisle of a Boeing 727 rigged six seats abreast in coach. Almost missing the flight, I was one of the last to board the aircraft.

In the aisle seat to my right sat one of the larger women in whose presence I have had the misfortune to spend several hours in close proximity. She appeared to have brought all of her worldly possessions on board as carry-on luggage and had her parcels stowed above her in the overhead bins, behind her in the bulkhead space, beneath her under her seat, beneath the seat in front of her, underneath my seat, and beneath the seat in front of me.

In the window seat to my left sat a wizened little man who smelled like a goatherd and looked the part as well. He also had filled his allotted space with assorted pieces of carry-on baggage.

My only carry-on luggage was a briefcase, which I placed under my legs and hoped for the best.

About thirty minutes into the flight something happened which astounded even me -- and I considered myself to be pretty jaded in such things. The little goatherd on my left rummaged through one of his parcels, produced a small sterno stove, placed it on the floorboard between his feet, lit a fire, and began to brew a cup of tea!

At that point, I activated the call button to summon the stewardess -- not to report the pyrotechnic little goatherd but to request a double scotch with no ice and no water. The stewardess came, noted my request, and then haughtily informed me that I was a passenger on an Islamic airline which did not serve alcoholic beverages. She completely ignored the pyrotechnic little goatherd, who was still engrossed in brewing his tea.

After I finally arrived in Tehran and was ensconced in my hotel room, I remember paying the concierge about $150 to deliver a fifth of Johnny Walker Red to my room. (He informed me that neither Black Label nor Chivas was available.)
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: theirishguard on September 06, 2006, 09:33:34 AM: Well, I guess one must tough it out, when the black label is not available go for the red. :o ::)
Tom
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Richard S on September 06, 2006, 11:18:13 AM: Quote
Well, I guess one must tough it out, when the black label is not available go for the red. :o ::)
Tom

Yep, sacrifices must sometimes be made. Just always remember to avoid a vile distillation called "Ogongoro" if it is ever offered to you. A couple of shots of that stuff and you can expect to sacrifice at least two days of your life to the hangover. :P
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: R9SCarry on September 06, 2006, 11:31:26 PM: The full link BTW for that B-52 crash is -

http://www.alexisparkinn.com/photogallery/Videos/B-52%20Crash.mpg

There was a display of absurd bank rate with way too little ceiling - darned plane all but side slipped in. Tragic.

My only airplane tale is minor but memorable! Landing in Dulles (DC) after a flight back from UK, in 777. Vis' and conditions all very fair but - while approach seemed fine, the plane's last few feet of height loss were dramatic. Like - the plane was ''dumped'' hard.

My light unit above my seat (the side wall strip light) promptly shed its diffuser. The ground contact was bone jarring! No comments from flight deck I might add !!!
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: theirishguard on September 07, 2006, 10:31:40 AM: Chris, no alarm needed, it was just a former US Navy pilot doing a landing on a short field. ;D
Tom
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Michigunner on September 07, 2006, 10:47:39 AM: Good one, Tom. :)
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Richard S on September 07, 2006, 11:51:10 AM: Quote
Chris, no alarm needed, it was just a former US Navy pilot doing a landing on a short field. ;D
Tom

Secure the perimeter and hunker down, Tom! If Tracker and K-Man see that, we can expect some incoming fire followed by a frontal assault on our position. ;)

Which reminds me, the 2006 Army/Navy Game will be held at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia on Saturday, December 2.

[glb]GO ARMY! It's payback time this year![/glb]
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: theirishguard on September 07, 2006, 12:12:51 PM: Hey, Richard, where did that goat go??!! ??? :o Go Army.
Tom
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: tracker on September 07, 2006, 12:18:41 PM: The 777 was probably floating and the pilot probably
decided he needed to put it down before he ran out of
runway; the runways at Dulles are anything but short.
He didn't say which airline it was who made the hard
landing; it may surprise you but I have seen some non-
US Navy pilots make bone-jarring landings, too.
One woman criticized one of my few bad landings as she
left the airplane in an insulting manner and I asked her
about her last landing; no comment.
There are those who have and those who will but as the man
said, any landing you walk away from is a good landing.
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: twostar on September 07, 2006, 07:04:16 PM: And have you tried that wonderful Chinese aperitife called "mao tai?" It would be great for cleaning guns except I think it would melt the steel along with the shooting residue. It's much easier to outdrink a Russian fighter pilot with vodka than even try to keep up with a chinaman on mao tai. And if you have tried outdrinking the Russian, I'm surprised you can read this. They tell people that mao tai is made from a fermented sorghum product. I know better. Just like us, a yak has to go too.
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Richard S on September 07, 2006, 08:09:03 PM: Ah, yes. Mao tai -- 150+ proof and guaranteed to anesthetize any living thing. The rumor is that Chairman Mao Tse-tung and Premier Chou En-lai served the stuff to President Richard M. Nixon and Secretary of State Henry Kissinger during the famous visit to China in 1972. Rather than the game of ping-pong, it may have been mao tai which prevented another war.

As for trying to outdrink a Russian on vodka . . .

[glb] [size=10]strange, my monitor seems to be going out of focus. [/size][/glb]

Among the hard lessons I have learned in my 69 years of life are these two:

(1) Never attempt to debate a Jesuit on religion.

(2) Never attempt to outdrink a Russion on vodka.
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: R9SCarry on September 07, 2006, 10:44:49 PM: Tracker - the 777 harsh landing was Brotish Airways - and being a flier myself - mainly models - I know I for one reckon that 1 in 5 landings is less than squeeky clean :) This one tho had to have been felt to believe!!!

There are three maxims I always think of - one you have mentioned.

''Any landing is a good landing if you can walk away''.

"A really great landing is when you can fly the plane again"! ;D

"Take off is optional - landing is mandatory'' ;)
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: tracker on September 07, 2006, 11:46:45 PM: Chris,
I am delighted to hear that was probably not a U.S. Navy
pilot on your flight as Tom suggested. I would add one to your list that should be exercised more by pilots, especially
the relatively inexperienced ones:

"There are no emergency take-offs."
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: theirishguard on September 08, 2006, 10:49:45 AM: Tom, just kidding about the navy pilot. ;) However, I was on a 767 from San Franisco to Carmel, and was very happy we had a tail hook when we came in there. ::)
I flew Delta alot and liked the navy pilots better since I had friends with Delta who were ex navy pilots.
Tom
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: tracker on September 08, 2006, 01:12:13 PM: A 767 tailhook landing at MRY on a 7600' runway?
Now that is a new one on me.
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: theirishguard on September 08, 2006, 03:33:38 PM: Tom, it was a Delta 767. The landing I thought was similar to a carrier landing. :P We hit the runway and soaked up the gear, brakes hard and reverse engines big time. 8) Coming in was over the water in what appeared to be a short runway. WOW, everyone was relieved when we came to a stop. On the way out I asked the pilot if he was navy or air force. You guessed it, he said navy. I thought it was great but different.
Tom
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: twostar on September 09, 2006, 03:40:35 PM: R9S forgot one landing maxim. "The landing is a good one if you can still open the doors."

I love the local line (totally forgot the name) going into Ceylon and made a landing that removed fillings from your teeth, then proceeded to veer left and right down the runway. After finally slowing enough to turn onto a taxiway the Indian accented voice from the cockpit announced, "I am very sorry for the rough landing. The Captain will now take over and taxi us into the gate." You KNOW who was flying that old bird.

Or the Southwest flight attendant who announced, after a very rough landing, "Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Crash will now slide what is left of the aircraft up against the jetway. Please try to pick yourself carefully through the rubble and into the terminal building." Too bad the girls can't get away with that any longer. It was fun.

And what's the difference between a flight attendant and a jet engine? The Engine stops whining once you get to the gate.
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: tracker on September 10, 2006, 12:18:09 AM: OK, enough of the pansy aphorisms about hard landings
boys and girls, this happened to a friend of mine.
He took his family every year to Belize after Christmas to
Belize--San Pedro on Ambergris Cay. On this particular
occasion they were late into Belize City for the connecting
flight to San Pedro--a day VFR only airport with an exemption
to land after sunset only if a connection was missed.
The airline added an extra section to accommodate the 8
passengers which took off slightly before dark for an airport
that had no runway lights or instrument approach. This would
normally work except there were some lower clouds and rain
showers in the area. My friend said that the pilot looked a bit
bewildered looking for the airport when all of a sudden they
landed thinking on the runway but it was in the water, about
3-4 miles from the airport. They all exited the airplane and
were perched on the top of the fuselage when my friend dived
off and found that thet were only in about 7 feet depth.
Fortunately, one of the passengers had a GPS and a VHF radio
with him, called ship to shore and they were picked up in 45
minutes. His wife has not flown since. My advice in Central
America is: 2 pilots; 2 engines; and daylight VFR conditions.
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: Richard S on September 10, 2006, 09:40:09 AM: Quote
My advice in Central
America is: 2 pilots; 2 engines; and daylight VFR conditions.

Good advice!

In 1979, I was in Haiti, which was then in the clutches of Jean-Claude ("Baby-Doc") Duvalier and the group of thugs established by his father and known as the Volunteers for National Security (better known as the Tonton Macoutes or "bogeymen"). I needed to get from Port-au-Prince to Jacmel on the southern coast. The distance between the two cities is only about 35 miles by air and 65 by road – but the road was in such poor condition that the drive could take more than 6 hours even on a good day. A small airline called Haiti Air Inter was offering service between Port-au-Prince and Jacmel using a Britten-Norman BN-2 aircraft – a twin-engine turboprop, capable of carrying about eight passengers at a time – one similar to this:

(http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y30/RichardS/britten-normanbn-2.jpg)

When I boarded the aircraft I found myself sitting by a man carrying a loosely-woven straw basket which appeared to contain a live chicken. On second glance, I noticed that it was not just any chicken but actually a very angry fighting cock apparently offended by his present circumstances.

During takeoff, I shifted my attention from the fighting cock and turned to look out my starboard-side window expecting to enjoy a view of the Haitian coast and the mountains in the distance. What I noticed instead, however, was the tire on the fixed landing gear just below my window. More particularly, I noticed the six-inch bald spot on the tire -- no tread, no rubber, only some frayed cords of the carcass body.

Although we landed at Jacmel without blowing the tire, I rented a VW Beetle for the return trip to Port-au-Prince. It came as no surprise when I later read that a BN-2 owned by Haiti Air Inter had crashed in January 1980.

Reliable aircraft. Lousy maintenance. Recipe for disaster.
Title: Re: Someone tell an airplane story
Post by: R9SCarry on September 10, 2006, 01:19:00 PM: Quote
[size=13] "Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Crash will now slide what is left of the aircraft up against the jetway. Please try to pick yourself carefully through the rubble and into the terminal building." [/size]
2star - that was worthy of some good chuckles ;D