Hello, I too am sorry for the loss of your husband. I have 3 kids, and god forbid, if I lost my wife........I am not sure what I would do. I must say though your husband was a very lucky man.....to have such a smokin' hot wife who has excellent taste in firearms, 2 kids, and obvously a very nice house. I think he did really, really good for his short time on earth. But anyway back to the subject at hand.......when I first got my pup (R9s.....not rottie), I was expecting some wicked recoil also, but it never came. It is not that bad at all. If you have shot previously......I predict you will have no trouble at all. You are small framed......but look to be in good shape, so holding the gun firmly should not be an issue. In fact, with your hand being smaller than a mans......you will probably control it better than some men. I have shot my pup 120 rds. so far.......with only 1 failure. I believe it was my fault though (limpwristing). I have used Radway 95 gr. jsp (50 rds.), Winchester 115 gr. jhp, and even 20 rds. of Sellier and Beliot. Hope you like your gun as much as I like mine..........Take care and good luck!
Mike Arnold