Kayaker,
+1 (and +2, +3, +4.....) on the Uplula. I have developed an arthritic thumb and really suffer the next day if I load too many mags without some sort of assist device. The Uplula is far superior to any other loader I've tried, and fits almost all center fire magazines. I never leave home without it in my range bag.
Regarding FTFeed, I think the R9, like most little guns, is sensitive to effective cartridge length. So it's important to get those shells tucked all the way back in the magazine. The Uplula helps to eliminate one more variable.
The advice on cleaning / lubing after 50 rounds is important. I haven't looked at the newest version of the Rohrbaugh manual, but the manufacturer used to recommend clean / lube in the 50 to 80 round count range.
I have experienced jamming problems due to brass or copper shavings that I traced to the gilding metal on the cheap practice ammo. The premium stuff has much thicker jacket metal and doesn't seem to cause any problems.
Finally, the scarring you're seeing is "normal" for the R9. It eventually stabilizes. My R9s has almost 2,000 rounds thru it, and actually looks better now than it did at 300 rounds. Compared to my aluminum frame Sig P239 at 3,500 rounds, the R9s looks like a worn-out piece of junk, but it works fine. 100% reliable. So I tell the retired mechanical engineer in me to shut up and shoot the darn thing! That little R9 is my constant companion.

Steve