72 Virgins In Paradise
Seconds after al-Zarqawi was taken out in the airstrike, he was met at the
Gates of Paradise by George Washington, who slapped him across the face
and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped found!"
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You
wanted to end our liberties but you failed."
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why
I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson was next. He beat al-Zarqawi with a cane and snarled,
"It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of
Independence."
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe,
Robert E. Lee, Jeb Stuart and 64 other early Americans unleashed their anger
on the terrorist leader.
As al-Zarqawi lay moaning in pain, the Angel Gabriel appeared. The terrorist
leader wept in frustration and whined, "This is not what you promised
us Muslim martyrs."
Gabriel replied, "I told Mohammad there would be 72 Virginians
waiting for you guys in Paradise. What did you think I said?